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Monday, January 26, 2009

Why Mama Needs a Caffeine Drip

7:15 pm: With minimal fussing, The Bug goes to bed.
8:30 pm: With minimal prodding, The Pirate goes to bed.
9:30 pm: With sheer joy, Mama and Dadeeeeeeeee go to bed.
10:30 pm: The Bug finds that he can't possible sleep another moment without a hit of boob.
10:40 pm: Mama gets back in bed.
10:45 pm: Now awake, Dadeeeeeeee goes out to surf the internets.
12:15 am: See 10:30 pm.
12:30 am: Mama wakes Dadeeeeeeee on the couch and tells him next time is his turn.
12:32 am: Mama gets back in bed.
3:30 am: See 10:30 pm.
3:35 am: The Bug has a shit fit when he discovers that Dadeeeeeeee does not lactate.
3:50 am: Dadeeeeeee gets back in bed.
4:15 am: The Pirate announces to the neighborhood that he is wet.
4:25 am: After settling the Pirate on the couch in dry clothes, mama gets back in bed.
4:40 am: The Pirate needs another blanket.
4:57 am: See 10:30 pm.
5:00 am: The Bug is convinced that he should go back to sleep without boob.
5:15 am: The Pirate would like to know if he can sleep with us.
5:16 am: The Pirate complains about the snoring.
5:18 am: The Pirate starts petting mama's head.
5:22 am: The Pirate complains about the snoring.
5:25 am: The Pirate tries to suffocate the Dadeeeeeee.
5:35 am: The Pirate removes himself from our bed and vanishes.
6:00 am: The alarm clock goes off.
6:10 am: Mama dozes off in the shower.

I think you get the idea. Mama needs COFFEE.

(Mama and Dadeeeeeeeee are the Bugs two words. Usually cute. Not in the middle of the night.)



  1. Oh you poor thing! That is why I stopped at one. He never slept at night and didn't nap during the day. Not he is 14, can sleep anytime & anywhere, and now mom has insomnia:(

  2. I feel ya! Except my daughter wakes me up only on occasion but my son was like that to a tee. I probably didn't sleep a night straight through until after he was one. Good luck and here is to sleepless nights :)

  3. Oh that does sound rough. Hope tonight is better for you. We had a rough one as well. Both boys have a small cold which only seems to affect them during the night. Oh well :(

  4. Oh Lisa. I'm sure there are so many reasons why this isn't funny, but I couldn't help myself with terms like "hit from the boob" and "shit fit." But look how sweet and precious your boys are the rest of the time... I'm sure there's a plus in there somewhere?

  5. Melanie, I heard they might swap around at some point. I don't mind early risers, if they sleep through til morning.

    Sam, it's wierd, some nights they both sleep all nights. It's very unpredictable.

    Michelle, we just got over colds! I feel for ya.

    Trish, it's ok, I meant for it to be a little funny. If it's not funny, it makes me want to cry. And then sleep.

  6. Oh,the joys of motherhood! I hope you got at least a few cups of coffee. :) I hope tonight is better.

  7. I've had that night. That night blows.

  8. I hope you get some rest today and tonight. I remember those times.

  9. I remember when my daughter nursed every hour on the hour and how the doc told me that she was having a growth spurt. Only, it last for over 9 months and she was as fat as a Sumo wrestler! I broke out the pump and it was my new best friend.

    Not saying you should of course but some kids eat and some kids just have an oral fixation. As mine did.

  10. Poor thing! I remember those days well and they are not easy, but this too shall pass. You have a great sense of humor about it!!

  11. Oh, I am a wimp! I just sleep with my little boob suckers.... then I only have to wake up enough to get it out and then fall back asleep. Makes for interesting mornings sometimes! haha!

  12. Thanks for the laugh! I meant to comment right away, but a 14 month old came in shouting "Mamamamama" and yanking on my shirt. Nice to find another kindred spirit...mother of a young boy and a quilter too! I just posted a few of my quilts to our book blog for the Weekly Geeks challenge. Looking forward to following your blog.

  13. Laura, I would totally do that, except that the Bug HATES to sleep in our bed. He will barely consent to falling asleep being help. He thrashes around until you give in and put him in bed by himself.

    Infant Bibliophile, I know that Mamamamamamama MAMA. He says "dadeee" in such a hushed tone of reverence, but "mama" is always a demand. I've had your blog open in a tab for days now, eventually I'll be able to come check it out!


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